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Welcome to Jeroensjourney 2!
Dear reader, Beste lezer,
 
Welcome to the weblog that follows on jeroensjourney.punt.nl. Here I will update you on my experiences in Thailand and India, and my personal inner or spiritual journey. After my healing journey described on jeroensjourney.punt.nl (with also information about Buddhism, meditation, Taoism and other healing practices), this weblog, from early 2007, relates about further healing and spiritual growth for an increasingly happy and true life.
 
With love from Asia,
 
Jeroen Deva Geetesh (jeroensjourney@gmail.com)
(I check this e-mail not very often, so let me know, on my blog, that you sent me an e-mail)
 
P.S.:
Je reactie is van harte welkom!     
Reactions are very welcome!
Free from bondage?
Breaking free from bondage?
 
Enlightenment, awakening, liberation is all about freeing yourself from bondage, the bondage of the ego, of beliefs of emotional investments of everything inside ourselves that makes us not free.   I had a dream this night which could be significant in this regard. Dreams can always be explained in different ways but this was one that seemed remarkably clear. I was led into a prison cell which had been mine. It was very small, just a single bed with a meter beside it. And in my dream I realized this is where I had lived. Then I was led out of the cell and out of the prison. While I waved to my fellow prisoners, who now stayed behind, I cried.  
The way I immediately understood my dream when I woke up was that the prison was my ego or some other ‘limited self’. And my prison mates where all the beliefs and illusions that belonged to that state of egoic bondage of spiritual imprisonment. Then why the crying? As I understand it I was crying for the loss of those beliefs and illusions. We love to live in this dream world where everything is okay and everything not okay is ignored. Ignorance, or Maya as the Hindus and Buddhists call it, is not something that can exist without our effort. Without us supporting it. We want to belief that things are different from what they really are because the truth is too hard to look in the eye and we have so identified ourselves with our distorted vision of reality that dropping those beliefs feels like dying. And in a way it is, the death of the ego.  

Also, I cried because of the feeling “what now?” This prison cell and these prison mates had been my life, what to do without them. Yes, I was led into a wide open world, in freedom, but that was so scary. What to do now? Osho, an enlightened master from India, used to tell the story of prisoners being freed from The Bastille jail in France centuries ago. He told that they were freed after decades of imprisonment, but after a day out of prison they all went back: asking “give us our chains back”, “we have become used to them and cannot sleep without them”. “And in the city, we don’t know what to do and where to go. In the prison we received food and care. What to do now?”
Whether this really happened or not is of course not relevant here.
The story is of course true both in the literal sense - how often do people who have been in prison end up back in prison for not having been able to get used again to the outside world? – and, more importantly, in the figurative sense. We all do indeed cling to our prison cells, to our chains and bondage. Freedom to live your life any way you want, not driven by ambition, money, status, security, fear, fitting in, the need to be loved or appreciated, etc. seems very nice but is also scary. Now there is no-one to follow. No rules, no dogmas, no saviours or prophets, no scriptures, no cultural habits and beliefs….. Now you are on your own, ready to become an individual. That’s what I felt in my dream and to some extent, is what I feel now.  
 
Something else that was interesting was that I woke up with tension in my legs. I’ve had that a lot in the previous years. It is some kind of emotional stress that comes up at night and tenses my muscles. In this case, it most likely was the stress, or fear, that came with the dream, with the daunting perspective of freedom without any guidance than my own, not very trained, inner compass…. Is really something significant happening? I really don’t know, maybe I am just projecting what I know and read about awakening on my own experiences. But maybe not, maybe Jed McKenna’s books are moving something. I’ll keep you posted…  
 
Best regards,
 
Jeroen Deva Geetesh

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