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Welcome to Jeroensjourney 2!
Dear reader, Beste lezer,
Welcome to the weblog that follows on Here I will update you on my experiences in Thailand and India, and my personal inner or spiritual journey. After my healing journey described on (with also information about Buddhism, meditation, Taoism and other healing practices), this weblog, from early 2007, relates about further healing and spiritual growth for an increasingly happy and true life.
With love from Asia,
Jeroen Deva Geetesh (
(I check this e-mail not very often, so let me know, on my blog, that you sent me an e-mail)
Je reactie is van harte welkom!     
Reactions are very welcome!
Purpose, direction, new steps in life
Purpose, direction, new steps in life
14 November 2010
“Without a deep sense of purpose to direct your daily life, you will be directed by externals – financial need, your children’s needs, your lover’s needs – and you will begin to blame them for your lack of fulfillment. You will feel trapped in obligations, and your resentment will show.” 
David Deida, Blue Truth, page 121.
“When you have the courage to listen to your calling, all of life opens itself for you. When you follow your bliss – that which touches you deeply inside – doors open for you. If you do not listen to this calling, because you want to stay in your safe environment, life often dries out.”
Joseph Campbell. Quote in Verlicht Leven (Enlightened Living), Tijn Touber, page 17
Dear reader,
In the summer of 2005 the end of my relationship triggered a deep crisis which later turned out to be the start of my healing and awakening process: A process of healing inner (childhood) wounds and a process of searching for truth. My truth.

This journey is what all the enlightened masters, the mystics, talk about. It is a journey driven by a deep longing that is buried in each of us, but often buried so deep below conditionings and beliefs that we do not hear that inner voice that leads us towards our true nature. For me, as for many, the first step on this journey was not taken voluntarily. After my breakup my life fell apart and so did I, or better my ego.  
In the first years the will to overcome the pain triggered by the breakup, new adventures (travelling in Asia) and new experiences (meditation retreats, healing workshops) made that I had found a purpose, a direction for my life. All was focused on my inner healing journey. I lived cheaply in Holland and in Asia and could do with relatively little work to survive.
In the summer of 2007 I met my current girlfriend and this beautiful relationship with a fellow traveler on the spiritual path - she already was an Osho sanyassin a meditator and had done many groups and workshops when we met – brought a new purpose to my life. The obstacles to be together, she living in Mexico and going through a nasty divorce case, me living in the Netherlands, only added to having a purpose. Besides that, the inner journey continued with meditation, more groups and workshops and long journeys to Asia (winter 2007/2008 and winter 2008/2009), most notably to Tao Garden in Thailand and more importantly, the International Osho Meditation Resort in India.
At the same time, I struggled with the question what to do with work. With my relationship my passion for my profession, which already had been withering for a few years, was dissolving. I knew something had to change but also realized that what had to change most was ‘me’. So I kept telling myself that if I would heal and continue walking on the awakening process that, with the changes in my inner world, the outer world would follow. This happened to some extent, but anno 2010, I am still earning all my money with my work as an international consultant / traffic planner and spent it on spiritual growth.      
A new career, a new calling
Although I have done trainings which have qualified me as Healing Tao Instructor and Bio-dynamic Breathwork Practitioner, I have not done any steps yet to start a new career in that direction. So what is holding me back? In 2009 I did career coaching, a series of meetings with a coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my (working) life. In short I came to the conclusion that I wanted to start working as a spiritual teacher/therapist/ group leader, starting with giving individual sessions and leading meditations. 
Immediately after my career coaching I went to India (with my girlfriend) and did my breathwork training (becoming a therapist) a group on Zen counseling for therapists and four other groups which led to more healing and understanding and which deepened my meditation as well as my longing for the divine, for living a life connected and from the heart rather than from the head.   In April 2010 I came back from India and I have been rather busy making a living since then. But I have not really made any concrete steps to manifest my ‘other’ work life. David Deida’s quote (see top of this blog) really touched me because in the previous weeks (and often also in the previous months) I have felt this feeling trapped in obligations. The main problem being of course that I feel work as an obligation.  
The second quote (from Joseph Campbell) in a book I am reading by Tijn Touber, touched me deeply this morning. Over the past 7 months I have had times of silence, openness and listening to my inner voice. I have observed my bliss when it was there, but I have not made the steps needed to follow my bliss in a way that it can become a large(r) part of my working life. There, there is no way to deny it; I am still staying in the safe environment of my old job. Not all the time, not enough to let life dry out, but still most of the time I have been away from the full, alive and juicy life I know exists because I do experience it from time to time.  
Obstacles to following my calling  
So why is this so? Why, if I know what I deep down want to do, did I not do it? There are a number of reasons.  
One simple one is that I have been rather busy with my other job, but that is not a good enough excuse, because since I work as freelance I do have busy times but also times with a lot of free time.  
Another reason is laziness. Creating something, starting something new costs a lot of energy and often I just preferred to relax rather than to get going giving sessions.  
Another, probably important reason, is that deep down I doubt if I am ready for it. This has everything to do with conditionings. I have been brought up with the idea that for any kind of work you have to study hard and do long courses (‘opleidingen’ in Dutch). Just going for a few months to Asia and doing some trainings is considered very little in the light of those conditionings.  I know that I have gone through such a deep process myself, that I have done so many workshop, groups and meditation retreats that I am more qualified to do what I want to do than many people who do a two or three-year course to become a therapist. After all, the real art of a good therapist is in being, not in doing. You cannot give what you do not have yourself. But still, that conditioning is there to bug me.  
So what now?
In one month time I will be back in India to do more courses and retreats: More personal growth. Before that, due to work obligations in Latin America, I have little time to give sessions, but I herewith declare that I will give my girlfriend a first bio-dynamic breathwork session before we leave for Asia in December. The next step will be to start giving sessions in Had Tien Thailand where we will be going in March. That will be a bigger step. To strangers, charging money.  
There you go, long before the 1st of January I have my new year’s resolution ready. And, dear reader, you are welcome to remind me.  
With love,
Jeroen Deva Geetesh 


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