Awakened life after Dolano Intensive Satsang - 3
Dolano, as did Osho, introduced us to the idea of relating rather than relationship. Relating is something that happens in the here and now, relationship is a construct that tries to fit the other person in a fixed role and creates an idea in our head about what this relationship is. Making it a thing, rather than a happening.
Also in this case, I understood what Osho meant. But since the Intensive Satsang relating has become a reality. How does that look? For me it means that, often to my own surprise, I interact and relate to strangers in a way I previously did not do. What I also experience is that I am more curious and much less judgmental towards people I meet. Dolano talks about relating to intelligence or the Buddha in everyone and I see that happen from time to time. It is lovely because it feels a bit like everyone is a friend or at least an interesting person to meet.
Before I had many judgments and ideas about people and I related to
those judgments and ideas. I related to what I thought these people
were, without really looking at what, who and how they were in that
moment, without relating with reality.
Of course there are also moments I do not feel like relating. Being
alone is, as it was before already, very pleasant too. With my
girlfriend I can say that whether to connect or not to connect is
less an issue. I really feel much freer in that than I did before. Together is fine, alone is fine. Connecting is fine, not connecting is fine.
Many people believe that enlightenment, or awakening (which is something else in the way Dolano uses the word) is being free from negative emotions, but that is not the case in the way we, or at least I, believed it to be true. All emotions are still there but they have become almost irrelevant because it is so clear that they do not touch who I am.
What I have experienced in the previous weeks is that at times there is a lot of irritation. At other times there was a kind of sadness. Adyashanti says about the process after awakening that there is like a resetting of the body-mind. The vision has changed so radically, that the body and emotions need time to catch up with it. For me it feels like that. That somehow there is still some kind of process going on.
But at the same time there is no feeling that I need to do anything about it. Whatever the emotion, it is totally fine. This again, for me, is a weird experience because it is so new.
And what about the mind?, you might wonder. More even than emotions, for me at least, the mind was what the path was all about. Leaving worries and mindfucks behind for eternal no-mind was the ultimate goal of the spiritual path. Or so I thought at least.
Now that the path has ended, the mind is still there, thoughts are still there, but, because there is much less identification with them, they are less a problem. Dolano talks about liberating the mind and I feel that, to a large extent the process hasnt ended yet this has happened. Not only is it easier now to be without thoughts, also when there are thoughts there is less stress with it. They come and go without me clinging to them or getting carried away with them. That is very very pleasant.
If you ask me to describe in short how life is post-Dolano I would quote what Osho said about enlightenment: it is ordinary, extraordinarily ordinary.
At the one hand nothing has changed, on the other hand, because the vision has changed, everything seems to have changed. How to say? Seeing reality without the distortion and interpretation of the mind is ordinary. But this ordinariness is very rare and I have never experienced it before. So in that sense it is extraordinary.
Adyashanti said it in a very nice way. What we call the normal state of consciousness is in reality an extremely altered state of consciousness. Our beliefs, imaginations, ideas, theories, distortions, ideologies, expectations, hopes, fears and creations create a reality that has little to do with reality. This is the dream state that almost everyone lives in and which makes that we are unable to see reality as it is.
Awakening from that dream state is nothing more than seeing reality directly, without all those filters and distortions that make reality something else. That, I can tell you, makes everything very ordinary, but because it is such a new way of looking it is also extraordinary.
Good, I am afraid I am only making sense for my fellow Dolano-goers or any other awakened or enlightened person. But this is the best I can do to describe it. The fact that I do not need to create anything anymore; that nothing needs to be amazing or special or divine or awesome anymore; that idealization and demonization has disappeared, makes that reality is ordinary, but that ordinariness is relaxing, beautiful and perfect.
I better leave it at this. Maybe good to end with a kind of disclaimer:
The Tao that can be spoken about, is not the real Tao. Lao Tzu
This is true for what I wrote before, that is why I wrote in terms of effects and experiences, which is difficult enough to put in words, and not about truth and who am I directly.
All the best,
Jeroen Deva Geetesh