A new life after Dolano Intensive Satsang
28 April / 11 May 2011
Doing Intensive Satsang with Dolano has, without any doubt, been the most life-changing thing I have ever done. I am writing here about it for myself and to share it with others who have done the intensive from whom Id love to hear their experiences post-Dolano or comments on what I wrote. How has it been for you after Dolano?
Whether for others reading this text makes any sense I dont know, but I will try to write it in a way that it is also accessible for other advanced seekers on the path who might be interested in doing Dolano Intensive Satsang. She is an enlightened master in India who facilitates a one-month transformational process which she also calls The last satsang or The end of the path.
For more on Dolano, including open Satsangs you can listen to, see: www.dolano.com
I spent more than a month after Intensive Satsang in Thailand and had
two work-visits to Turkey of a week each, but I wont write about that
Now is after a few weeks back home in the Netherlands. Weeks of
beautiful sunny weather enjoying nature, cycling or walking and getting
the house and my administration in order.
The end of the path
So what is life like post-Dolano? It is difficult to give a straight
answer to that. It is both beautiful and weird. The biggest shock for
me, even though Dolano announced it before, is that Dolano Intensive
Satsang really IS the end of the path, the spiritual path, that is. Of
course I had heard that before the satsang, but even then, to experience
it so strongly is a shock. In the past five years the spiritual path
was my life. It was my main interest, it was what drove me, inspired me
and defined me. Work, which always had been a top-priority in my life,
had become secondary and the main purpose of it had become to earn money
to do workshops, groups, retreats and courses and to travel to India
and Thailand for that same reason.
Yes, being a Sannyasin, a seeker for truth had become my main identity and life purpose.
That, I discovered to my own surprise, is now all history. It is not
that I let go of the path. It just dropped. The path led to the cliff
and Dolano pushed us off. So even if I want to look for the path, it is
no more there. For me this is really weird. Something that was so
important not that long ago is suddenly gone.
Take for instance the groups. Already in my last group, the meditative
therapy called Mystic Rose, I found out half-way that it was no more
true. The poor-me (hi)story that was always there to help me access
emotions did not work anymore because I saw that it was not me. I saw
that if I did not create or remember the story, the emotion would not
come up. I saw it was a remembrance, something that I needed to do,
and thus something that was not a reality here and now.
And now, five months later, even reading about groups and therapies and
workshops, that oh-so-familiar excitement about doing that group or
process is totally gone. There is no more interest at all, which is
Or take for instance meditation. Meditation was for me one of the most
important tools on the path and it was something I missed if I did not
do it. Now there is neither a need nor a desire to do it, because that
what I was looking for in meditation is there all the time. I used
meditation as a tool to connect with myself, with silence beyond the
mind. Now, with a different vision, the whole idea of connecting with
myself or connecting with silence is simply ridiculous. Still,
sitting quietly doing nothing is very pleasant. Actually more relaxing
and pleasant than it was before in meditation because now there is
nothing that needs to be changed anymore. Sitting still and quietly now
is nothing more than recognizing again what is eternally true that
which Dolano pointed us to - and that indeed is very relaxing.
So this is the good news. But no more being a seeker and no more being
identified with my work or profession is also disorienting. Anyone on
the path has heard the masters talk about no-identity or becoming a
no-body. But suddenly realizing that all I identified with in the not
very distant past is gone is weird, to say the least. I see my mind
looking for something to replace the old identities but failing time
after time. Gone is gone.
Of course I could create something. But that would just be falling back
in the ditch of the boundary vision as Dolano calls it. A chanceless
endevour which doesnt lead anywhere.
At the moment, I have to say, this often feels as emptiness. Most of
the time it is a relief and relaxation, but some of the time it feels
like I lost something. Then there is a feeling of Now what?
Not that long ago I considered working as therapist or meditation
leader, but, at least now, this doesnt feel like an obvious thing to do
at all anymore and is even something Dolano advised against. I now
To be continued...